Men in feminism

I've had the seeds for this post in my head for a long time now. It wasn't until The Nut suggested I write about it that I actually got serious about it. The topic is Men in Feminism, and you'd think that as a man who identifies as a feminist, this would be an easy thing to write about. Unfortunately, that isn't the case. Partly that's because any time a man writes about such feminist topics as the very definition of feminism, well, it's a narrow tightrope to walk. But it's also because the very act of addressing this topic seems to give voice to the idea that there is some question as to what men's role in feminism should be, and that seems a little ridiculous to me.

So let's get that out of the way up front. Do men have a role in feminism? Absolutely. Can men be feminists? I think so, and I consider myself to be one. Whether you agree with the former depends on what you believe the goals of feminism are. Whether you agree with the latter depends on what definition of feminism you are working with.

As for myself, I define feminism as a subset of humanism. Among other things, humanists believe that pursuit of happiness, freedom, and progress (including cultural, economic, and ethical progress) is the highest goal of all people. Feminism is the ongoing struggle against sexism in our culture. As a humanist, I believe it is my obligation and responsibility to also consider myself a feminist. Men's role in feminism, then, is largely the same as women's: we must identify sexism wherever we see it, and do whatever we can to eliminate it.

Ultimately, regardless of whether you are a man or woman, whether you identify yourself as a feminist is a lot less important to me than whether your words and actions support the goals of feminism, by which I mean helping women overcome the oppression of sexism. That's why Chris Clarke's statement that he is not a feminist doesn't bother me as much as it might. Before he disavows the label, he explains in detail exactly where he stands on various issues relating to sexism. As far as I can tell, if Chris were a woman, he would consider himself a feminist. But to him, feminism is a liberation movement. Because he's a man, he explains, that label isn't his to claim. I'm happy to accept Chris's support for the cause.

But I have to admit, although Chris's statement doesn't bother me as much as it could, it does bother me. It reminds me common disclaimer used to start so many sentences, "I'm not a feminist, but..." In fact, most of his essay could easily be rewritten to use that form. Chris explains his reasons for it, and I have no reason to doubt that he is sincere. And yet, I can't help but think of the different context in which I usually hear that phrase. Most of the time when a person starts a sentence with such a disclaimer, they go on to express a feminist idea. So why is the disclaimer necessary? Because "feminism" is seen as a dirty word by many in our society, including both men and women.

It's an odd thing, that. Feminism has been so successful that most people wouldn't dare to be caught being overtly and unapologetically sexist. It is only because it is so important to express feminist ideals that the "I'm not a feminist but" disclaimer is so common. And yet, its existence also reveals that it is widely unpopular to be labeled as a feminist. The very fact that the phrase is so common says a lot about how far we have to go in fighting sexism. It's one thing to be seen as overtly sexist, but it's another thing entirely to be seen as an active supporter of women's rights. When otherwise stellar supporters of feminism like Chris decline to call themselves feminists, I fear it only gives one more excuse to the men who routinely make it clear that they certainly don't wish to be known as supporters of feminism.

Of course, it's not like Chris just made up this idea that men can't be feminists. Unfortunately, there are plenty of feminist women around who agree. I'm probably lucky to have had my first contact with real feminists be Amanda, Bitch Ph.D., and Lauren when she was blogging at Feministe. These feminist bloggers didn't have any problem with Ampersand calling himself a feminist, which helped me realize that at least some feminists have no problem including men in their ranks. As to the ones that do, I'm perfectly comfortable agreeing to disagree. Still, when it's all said and done, it seems to me that by claiming men can't be feminists, the only thing that is accomplished is to waste a lot of energy arguing semantics. Assuming that we share the common goal of promoting equality of the sexes, it seems like a pretty silly thing to artificially divide an otherwise united group of people.

I said earlier that men's role in feminism is largely the same as women's. I believe that this is true on a large scale. But there are also many things that feminist men are uniquely positioned to do. One of those things is to actively speak out against the rape culture in our society. When men are talking amongst themselves about a rape, it is almost always the case that the character of the victim is questioned. This usually includes some combination of the details of what she was wearing, where she was at when she was raped, who she was with, and her sexual history. But none of these issues are relevant. The only thing that determines whether a woman was raped is whether the woman consented to sex. By speaking up against those conversations when we have the chance, we men can combat the idea that rape is a woman's fault and a woman's problem. Rape is crime almost exclusively committed by men. Only by speaking out can we begin to foster an environment that holds men accountable for their actions.

Update: Punkass Marc disagrees. You can read my response to his post here.